This is why you should convert to Pastafarianism | What’s Pastafarianism?

By Zaki Abbasi

Touched by his Noodly Appendage, The Flying Spaghetti Monster in his exultance. Credit: 2005 FSMas Card – Generic [5×7] | A generic version of 2005’… | Flickr and Flying Spaghetti Monster – Wikipedia

Warning: this article is a (failed) attempt at satire. Please do take it with a light heart. 

SAN JOSE, CALIF. — There’s a variety of religions that are believed on earth, but one the most unheard of is the philosophical doctrine of Pastafarianism. 

Pastafarians (those who believe in Pastafarianism), although being spread far and thin across the world, have secret origins and rituals that continue to this day.  

Pastafarians believe in the epic myth of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) that created the universe and the earth after “drinking heavily.” According to Wikipedia’s short description, “The central creation myth is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe “after drinking heavily.” According to these beliefs, the Monster’s intoxication was the cause for a flawed Earth.”

Pastafarians also have religious holidays, paraphrased from the article: Pastafarians hold Fridays as their holy day. They exclaim at the end of their prayers: “R’amen” (a parody of amen as a commemoration to their noodly god). They celebrate “Pastover” which requires eating lots of Pasta. They also celebrate “Ramendan” where they fast from normal food and eat only Ramen noodles.

I, myself, see many parodic similarities between Pastafarianism and many Abrahamic religions. Their idea of Ramendan shares direct relation to the Islamic month of Ramadan (which coincidentally is the current month). The conclusive exclamation ‘Ramen’ that Pastafarians say is very similar to the Amen of Christians and Jews, and the Ameen of Muslims. 

Alas, explaining Pastafarianism is incomplete with just talking about the deity and the rituals. Let’s meet the Pastafarians, those devoted to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pastafarians are recognized for their visits to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Additionally, they are known for wearing a colander on their head as a head covering. This is a direct parallel to the head coverings of cloth worn by many faiths and religions, such as turbans in Sikhism, hijab in Islam, or yarmulkes worn by the Jewish. 

A devout Pastafarian wearing a colander that is used for straining (holy) pasta. Photo Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Solstice_Parade_2013_-_094_(9146306667).jpg

Just like Christianity is incomplete without Christians; Pastafarianism is incomplete without the Pastafarians that follow it. Pastafarianism is indeed a very peculiar religion. 

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